Brerah

Giving it a try

Last night at RUF I gave the 'talk' at large group for the first time. I say 'talk' because i can't quite bring myself to call it a sermon when I have had no formal training and am not ordained or a preacher or anything like that (yet). But maybe it was a sermon, who knows. I was pretty nervous leading up to it, but I think that is pretty normal. There were about 200 or so people there, many of whom I know or have met somewhere along the course of this year. I think it went smoothly, people came up afterward and said that it was good. Who knows what that means, other than the fact that they were probably just being nice. But that they were. I appreciated their kindness, and it gives me courage that God was at work through my feeble and often times very convicting words (I say convicting because I talked to a group of cool people about how they don't love and care about others very well, or really at all). I also say convicting because the several days that I spent in preparation were pretty convicting and I would find myself praying that God would allow me to love better b/c I don't do it well either, even when my job is to love and care for others. This is something that I am more and more convinced that has to be learned. We don't come into this world loving people and caring for anyone except the one trapped in my skin. Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz says that "the biggest lie that I have ever contended with is this: That life is about me." I think that is very true, and honestly I don't know how often I actually contend with it. I think I like the fact that I am the most important thing in my life most of the time. I need grace, and I need God to have mercy on me, and to give me eyes to see others, because it isn't natural. It was only natural to one person, and He is the reason that we can ever have hope of being different, ever. Man, i wish someone else would like me as much as i like me. I would probably marry her.

posted by corbs @ 5:17 PM